Jonny's Magic Eight Ball
by Scullyspice
Summary: Jonny gets a Magic 8 Ball, and chaos ensues...


Jonny's Magic Eight Ball

By: Scullyspice

"Look, Hadj! I got a Magic Eight Date Ball!!" Jonny Quest was very excited. 

"My friend, I hate to break it to you, but it is... pink." Hadji Singh was very frightened.

"Magic Eight Ball, does Hadji really hate you?" Jonny asked, shaking the pink orb between his hands. ~Of Course!~ (w/ a heart) 

"Well, it is correct. But what is with the hearts?" 

"Well, Hadj, if you weren't so dense at times, you would notice it's a Magic 8 DATE Ball. It helps you get dates. Duh." Hadji was very, very frightened. He had never heard Jonny say 'duh' before. 

"Jonny, it is meant for persons of the female persuasion. That is why it is pink. Pink is known as a generally feminine color." 

"Magic 8 Ball, should I beat Hadji over the head with one of his Confusian saying books?" Jonny asked as Hadji visibly paled and began to back away from the blonde. ~NO WAY!~ 

"It's okay, Hadj. It said not to beat you up. By the way, what's for dinner?" 

"Chicken or roast beef. Your choice." 

"Hmm. Magic 8 Ball, how does chicken sound?" Jonny's ruminations were interrupted as Jessie came storming into the hall. 

"Did one of you steal my pink bra? It wasn't a funny joke, and I want it back NOW!!" Jessie fumed. 

"I'm sorry, Jess. I wouldn't have take it, but the Magic 8 Ball said to, and it's so omnipotent and everything... I'll return it when the Magic 8 Ball says to." Jonny said, clutching the ball like a life preserver. 

"I'll show you what I'll do to that ball..." Jessie grabbed the ball and threw it down the hallway. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jonny wailed, sliding after it. After making soothing noises to it for a minute, he stood back up, pouting. 

"You're lucky it didn't get broken or you would be in deep doodoo." 

"Doodoo? I'm leaving." Jessie said, grabbing Hadji's arm and dragging him with her. 

"I'll never let them hurt you, my 8 Ball, never ever!" 

***************************************************************** 

Meanwhile... 

"Sister..." Melana whispered. 

"Yes?" Anaya replied. 

"So we steal one of the Quest's personal effects and use it to complete our voodoo spell?" 

"Correct, sister. And if we're lucky, we can steal Hadji, too!" The duo burst into manaical laughter before realizing that they needed to shut up before someone heard them. 

"Oops." 

***************************************************************** 

During Dinner... 

"Jonny, put that Magic 8 Ball down, NOW!" Benton Quest declared at the dinner table.. 

"But I have to use it to decide what food to eat next!" 

"No you don't. Now give it here." Jonny reached out reluctantly. Benton had just grabbed the orb when Jonny pulled back. A vicious pulling match ensued, but was finished when the Magic 8 Ball fell into the gravy tray. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

"Fur on a Catfish!" 

"Oy!" 

"Allah preserve us." 

"Bleach-head." Jonny was mopping off his ball when two black blurs jumped through the dining room window. 

"Give us the Magic 8 Ball, Quest, or suffer the consequences!" Melana yelled as Anaya stealthily moved over to tie up Hadji. 

"NO!" 

"YES!" 

"NO! 

"YES!" 

"NO!" 

"YES!" 

"NO!" 

"Just give her the damn thing, Jonny!" Jessie replied while helping Anaya tie up Hadji. Melana grabbed it during Jonny's moment of indecision. 

"NOOOOOOOO! Give it back!" Jonny tackled Melana, but he was too late. She threw it against the wall, where it smashed into many tiny pink pieces. Jonny ran over and began sobbing over the pieces. Benton and Race rolled their eyes and went to go play Parcheesi. Jessie, Anaya and Melana untied Hadji under the deal that he would let them be his harem, along with Ina and Lesli. 

********************************************************************* 

5 years later.... 

Jonny Quest is the owner of Quest Enterprises, where he makes every decision using one of his millions of Magic 8 Date Balls. He is currently married to the famous model Kate Moss, after the 8 Ball said ~YES!~ (surrounded w/ hearts) 

Benton Quest and Race Bannon became the number 1 ranked Parcheesi team in the world after their retirement. They currently are married to two of the three Charlie's Angels. 

Hadji Singh, Jessie Bannon, Anaya and Melana Zin, Ina-chan, Lesliweird and other assorted Hadji groupies moved to a Pacific Island where Hadji and his harem lived happily ever after. 

The moral of the story? Magic 8 Balls are evil, unless they help you marry a supermodel. Also, Parcheesi tournament winners have way too much time on their hands. Finally, Harems are good, depending on the man involved. 


End file.
